Hey guys, it's been a while.

So right now, I've got this silly crush on some girl. And it confuses the hell out of me so I'm just going to write about it for a little while. No one even knows about this blogspot of mine anymore so I doubt anyone will actually read or even notice this.

It's so weird. I have this thing, where... I can't like a girl who

1. Smokes
2. Wears thongs
3. Intimidates the hell out of me.

Yet, she's all of these things. But somehow none of this really matters. I like her. And it bugs the hell out of me. It's like I'm whipped. Erghhhh no. I've unfortunately had very little experience with girls and I've realised that I have very little self esteem, self confidence and that I'm actually very god damn awkward. So it's always felt like if a girl was pretty, she was out of my league. Thus I've always been the reacher.

What's a reacher you ask? Well a relationship has two sides, a reacher and a settler. One that settles for someone that is below their league and one that reaches for someone above their league. Now I know what league I'm in, and what league I should be in if I had any confidence in myself, and they're not even remotely near each other, they aren't even on the same planet. It's been like that for as long as I can remember and so I guess I've never really had confidence with any girl I didn't think I was better than..... Wow I am actually a terrible person and there is something wrong with me.

Okay I'm just going to end this post here before I delve too deep into my own emotions and decide to kill myself.

Here's a picture of me skating and being hipster and obnoxious and stuff.

Short Story - Karina - Unfinished.

This is a poem I wrote for my friend Karina Nguyen.

--------------------------------------------------------------

Light pours in from our windows.

It falls onto our walls,

Onto our wardobe,

But it feels uneasy on our bed,

Crumpled and broken.

You don't know it,

But I feel comfortable like this.

???

Your heavy breathing is hot,

It feels dense,

Your chest rises and falls,

The sheets trying to provide cover.

Your eyes flickering under your eyelids let me know you're dreaming,

You kick at nothing under the sheets.

I try to image what you could be dreaming of.

Is it me?

She's lied - Unfinished.

It feels horrible being on the receiving end. Don't do it. Please.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

She lied,

You pretend she didn't.

It feels horrible,

But you put on a face.

Why are you letting her do this to you?

What is it that makes you want to forgive her?

"I was home, with the girls."

Liar.

It's happened before.

"What did you do today?",

"Nothing.."

You pick it up,

But you don't want to say anything.

Just pretend, pretend you don't know.

Deal with it later...

Do you want to stick around?

Maybe she'll come clean.

That's it.

Maybe you hold onto the thought.

She fell in love with you,

There must be something...

I'm back, I'm fresh, I'm awesome. You all know it.

Heya guys! Yes I am BACK! It's been a while I know, there have been some highs and lows since my last post . . Which I think was around the time of Newtown Festival last year, sometime around Novemberrrrr.

So heaps of things have changed since my last posting;

I'm no longer dating Karen, things didn't work out.

I've discovered a voice within myself, thanks to the encouragement of the NYE crew hahaha.

Year 12 sucks, but I guess that isn't exactly new.

And other shit happened :D

My life is starting to turn around and I've got the right people here to help me along with that :)

This year at CAMParadise I volunteered as a group leader! I was the youngest on the team of about 21. The only one still in high school haha. Camp this year was such a thrilling experience, it was the 10th anniversary so it was BIGGGG, we had 200 attendees + staff there this year. It was so such an amazing experience working with all the group leaders though. Everynight for 6 nights we had group leader meetings, that started at about 10.30, and went until 12. If that weren't enough we then had to go up to the roof afterwards and practice for out group leader skit to be performed on the moonlight forever - a talent show kinda thing. It was so hilarious! I was given the role of "Inner Beauty", and I was gay . . yea thanks Felicia for suggesting that.

I'll have to talk about Camp further another night, I'm just trying to get my blog up again so it'll just be a short post today.

AND I WANT THESE DAMN SUNNIES. :@

Nguyen Sa Tran signing off 8)

Mario Kart Love Song - Sam Hart

OMG THIS SONG LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLS !

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VDBpQVhCMb8

It's so sweet :)

Thanks to jenny for introducing it to me.

MidKnight - Aj Rafael.

SO WHAT'S HAPPENING !?!?!?!? :)

Hey guys, sorry I haven't been blogging at all recently. I just haven't found the time and to be honest - I haven't really been in the mood for it. But due to popular demand : IT'S BACK ! :)

Right now I'm lying in bed, why you ask ? Because I'm sick, why am I sick ? I'm glad you asked :) Well on Sunday, Anna Vo, Wendy Zhang, Annie Wang and I all went out to Newtown for the festival ! Christina and Alina were supposed to go to, but Christina was still grounded and Alina had something else to go to :(

In the morning I woke and got ready (I actually bothered to shave lols), got dressed and headed out to the station to catch the train. I was planning to catch the same train as Wendy and Anna, but they were late so we had to sit there for like half a fucking hour :( I HADN'T EVEN EATENNNNN !! *sad face. I got heaps hungry so I went to the crummy bread shop . . hehe crummy, get it ? And got a cheese and bacon :D yummmm.

GUESS WHAT !? I'M SO BEHIND ON YEAR 12 HOMEWORK IT'S NOT FUNNY :(:( I actually brought my maths homework along to do on the train, yea right, like I'm going to do my maths homework on the train.

Train finally came and we hopped on. Strange train conversation topics: "Can you use wrapping foil as a condom?" - Anna. LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLS Fail. "Losing your virginity . . and how." - Nguyen Sa. "**** is so cute." - Anna. "4 unit maths is for nerds, I do 3." - Wendy. So you see we had a pretty fun time on the train :)

We got off at Newtown and WOW ! So many cops, I've never seen so many cops in one place besides the time I got caught with Ms Nagal . . oh dayum ;) HAHA. But yea, they had sniffer dogs and I've got to say, there would've been at least 15 cops standing there. I guess they were looking for drugs . . *totally didn't get sniffed. 8)

NEWTOWN IS AMA wait for it . . . ZINGGGGGGGGGGG !!!!!! There are so many Aussies there but hey, I DUN CARE ! Some were pretty damn hot too haha. Christina promised me hot chicks, but she didn't know I'm not into non-asians :( well . . . for now haha. All day I probably saw a total of 15 asians, 9 of them girls, 3 my age, 1 hot. But oh god damn she was HOT ! LOOOLS ! It was at the ice cream parlorrrr. We kept throwing glances at each other, but I didn't have the guts to ask for her number :( DAMMIT ANNA WHY DIDN'T YOU ENCOURAGE MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE !? YOU SUCK AS A WING-WOMAN :@

The three of us walked around Newtown for a couple of minutes then headed to the festival. It was awesome ! Expensive but awesome ! haha. There were some really good jazz bands there, I was just standing there rocking out to the songs playing on stage. AND THERE WERE MOSHERSSSSSSSS ! But I didn't get there in time to join them :(

Annie told me with was going to rain in the morning and be sunny for the rest of the day . . LIAR :@ It was so humid on Sunday, and it was like sprinkling all day. I got really hot and sweaty so I took my shirt off and just had a singlet on. I was like "DAMN IT'S TOO HOT ! SCREW YOU RAIN I'M TAKING MY TSHIRT OFF" and then the rain was like "OH YEA !? WELL I'LL KEEP ON SPRINKLING ! HOW YOU LIKE THAT HUH TOUGH GUY !?" and then I got sick. :(

Ohhh bought some new sunnies too, new Aviators, silver ones, so now I've got black and silver. I WANT THE DAMN 3-D ONES LOLS ! One lens is green, and one is red, sho cewwwwwwl boiiii. :)

Anyways at about 12.30 Wendy had to leave to go to her art class, boo :( Anna and I walked around Newtown for a while waiting for Annie. She had tutoring in the morning and was making her way out after she had finished. She finally made it out at about 1.30, we went for a salad because Annie hadn't eaten all day, and then headed for the festival again.

It wouldn't stop raining so Annie and I decided to go to the city and watch a movie, and Anna went home :) We ended up watching "The Time Traveler's Wife". I reckon it was a pretty damn good movie, but all my friends think it was just average :(:(

Didn't get home till about 8.30 and pretty much just showered and went to sleep. Photos of the day are up on my facebook, well more like a facenovel by now LOls :)

Quick shout out to my lovely friend Nina Boulommavong from Melbourne, for keeping me company at nights. To Vivian Wu, Michael Le, and Annie Huynh for being people I can speak openly to, in almost any situation. To Annie Wang for going out with me and putting up with me so much. And to Jenny Luong for being the friend she is, and making me laugh when I'm going through what I am going through, I love ya kid.

Oh, and to my dad. The most awesomest, understanding, advice-giving, "dilf"-anna of a dad. Thank you for helping me see what would have taken me at least another couple of months on my own to see. Thank you not only for providing me with a place to live, food on my table, the means for me to gain a good education, but also for always knowing what to say to help me get my head straight. I love you Dad.

P.s. another thing I found that I thought I should share with the world.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1wh5L2qfoLo.

This is Nguyen Sa Tran, signing off . . . haha what a douche.

Wonderful World - James Morrison

LOnguyensaVE;

she's the fattest girl out, but I think she's amazing.

Hello blogspot, I have news for y'all. I'VE FINISHED ME EXAMS ! But I'm sure I've failed :( oh well, at least it doesn't count towards my HSC :D I'm still not sure of what to do for the next year though. I'm thinking of dropping Engineering and Information Processes Technology because well, I have a teacher named Mr Ebbott for both of them, and I don't learn a damn thing in it. I've gotta find out what I can pick up, I'm looking at Senior Science atm, and I might pick up a TAFE course in . . something, haha fail. I hate planning for the future.

Terribly sorry that I didn't write up a post yesterday, my net died on me ! It had disconnected at about 9.30 and didn't come back on until today when I called up Optus to fix it up, Good Game Optus, you took up 2 hours of my time today (N).

So yesterday I had tutor, and my dad's friend was going to drive me, but I only found this out 3 seconds after I woke up, dad was like "GET UP ! CHU TUAN IS COMING TO GET YOU ! " Chu Tuan is my dad's friend. "HE'LL BE HERE IN 15 MINUTES!". And I just lying in bed going, what the fuck is going on ? I had to get ready in half the amount of time it usually takes me to get ready, take a piss, get dressed, straighten hair, brush teeth, gel hair. Yea that takes me 20 minutes every other day haha.

I got to tutor and it was pretty uneventful, nothing worth mentioning, I called a few people while I was there just to pass the time. I WAS SO FREAKIN HUNGRYYYYYYY I SWEARRRRR ! I didn't finish till about 12.40 and I had to catch the train back, and at Villawood stn there's a KFC in plain sight (yes it's that salmonella one lmaooo), like 3 mins walk, and I was soooo tempted to go grab something there, but the train was coming and if i miss it then it's a 30 minute wait till the next one comes :( When I got back to cabra I was walking home as fast as I could, only to pass Easy Way and start contemplating what kind of drink I COULD BE drinking on the way home, I walked past one of the asian groceries (where thu buys her milk tea bottle thing) and the lady that works there was checking me out ! like GG looooooool, but it wasn't the old lady that's usually there, this one was in her 20's ? I literally saw her look me up and down as I walked within 1 metre from her. I walked a couple more steps and then decided that I wanted Easy Way and turned back, she was still checking me out !! Lmaoooo, I don't mind it, but it was like super obvious haha, either that or she was staring at me in an odd fashion. Grabbed a Jasmine Pearl Milk Tea and headed back home, yea she was still staring . . .

Guess what ? I had done the most idiotic thing this weekend, I had left my Physics textbook and both my Physics workbooks in my locker at school. My exam was scheduled for Monday morning, so being a fucked as I was, my only option was to call Matthew over so I could leech off his textbook (I came into contact with it for probably 5 mins out of the 5 hours he was here (Y).) He came over and we started off well, we pulled out our books, visited the Board of Studies website to took for notes, I even stopped talking to Karen from a while haha. But about 45 mins into it we got hungry, it was about 4 and Matthew still hadn't had breakfast yet :'( i love breakfast. So we headed out to cabra to find something to eat, everything was just about closing and the only place left for us to go was Rise cafe, we ordered a couple of wedges and Bao Qui Nguyen served us haha. On our way back we ran into Alina and Christina ! Their names rhyme :) haha. And that chick that was checking me out, was still checking me out, SERIOUSLY WHYYYYY !? DO I HAVE SOMETHING ON MY FACE ?? :( AM I FAT !? :( :(

We got back and put in "Shoot Em Up" to watch while we ate - I found roasted duck from earlier ! yayyyy. Took us about 40 mins to down all the grub and the movie lasted for about an hour and a half. I SWEAR THAT MOVIE IS COMPLETE BS LMAOOOO !! At one point in the movie Clive Owen is standing in a room shooting at all these people WHILST delivering a baby, WITHOUT BEING HIT BY A SINGLE BULLET ! It made me laugh at all the stupid stuff like how he help a few bullets between his fingers and put it near a fire, and the bullets went off and all of them were accurate haha. Overall film wasn't too bad, there's a minor sex scene in it, but somehow they got shooting bad guys involved and "shooting your load" was quoted at least twice. 3 stars ?

So movie was finally over, Matthew and I went back upstairs to finish studying (that didn't happen). We ended up watching videos from this guy on youtube "RayWilliamJohnson" THAT GUY IS HILARIOUS !! Have a look at some of his newer videos, he basically rants on videos that go viral over the web, stupid shit like a pitbull not being able to roll over, a horse totaling a guy sneaking up behind it, and a car totaling a horse that didn't look both ways . . balls. :D

Matthew eventually left and I was about to start my blog, but then dad called me downstairs to help him out with his fish tank again, took there for a good hour and a half until he let me take a shower and go to sleep, but then I come back upstairs and my nets gone (N). Tried calling Karen but she didn't pick up, fell asleep waiting for her to call - it was about 11pm.

Today was a pretty crappy day though, had my long awaited physics exam finally arrive. Got to school at about 8.30 and just sat outside the library reading notes, they didn't help AT ALL ! :( Went in and failed the exam, I'm pretty sure I didn't pass. When the exam finished Jess (Matthew's sister) gave me a call and asked if we wanted a life back home since she was in the area, funny she called me and not Matthew . . . ;) we went to Maccas and I pigged out there a while. Went back to Matthew's and played halo 3 for a couple of hours. Eventually got bored and went home.

When I got home I was looking forward to going online and talking to Karen, but the net was still out so I had to give Optus a call to fix it up. Don't you hate calling up the call centers and they go "Hello, my name is ******" and you can't hear or pronounce their name ? You're just like ... oooooooo kay (Y) OR someone with a really heavy accent - generally Indian (don't hurt me shain :( you know I love you). And you're just like whattttt ? pardonnnn ? bahhhh ? balls ? :D So after a long 2 hour phone call everything was evenutally fixed (Y).

Well it's about 11pm now, and I want to call Karen.

Goodnight.

Signed, NguyenSaTran:)

P.s. Karen is skinny enough to be a farmer <3.